"When you are required to exhibit strength, it comes." Joseph Campbell

It's true that God will never allow you to be saddled with more of a burden than He knows you can bear. I can now say that this past year of being unemployed and perpetually broke has taught me to solely seek Him and rely on Him for EVERYTHING. I don't think I could have drawn all this strength and calm from anywhere except from my spiritual core.

I've also learned that my God is truly Jehovah Jireh. When I'm been down to my very last pence and wondered where on Earth I was going to get my last meal from, He has always sent me someone or something. He is my provider.
I've learned to stop asking why and to simply focus on how good He's been to me. It's funny, even as I write this I know I'll have to come back to this lesson again soon.

I've also learned something new about myself: that I treat the obstacles in my life like I treat needles. When I see a bad situation coming and realise that I can't avoid it, I simply bite down, grind my teeth and ride it out, albeit with some complaints here and there.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness

I have never felt so out of sync in my life as throughout the past year when I have had little to no control of how clean my environment is.

I've been torn between cleaning up constantly after people and leaving my supposed home to pile up dirt because I can't expend my energy cleaning up after people. You know which one seems to be winning.

I'm going to do as much as I can to keep my environment clean but I will not be a slave to other people's uncleanliness anymore. There's only so much I can do. I can't transform a person's mind if they are not conscious of the importance of cleanliness. Untidiness I can deal with, but uncleanliness is really difficult.

That's because your home should be your sanctified space. It is the place where you should feel most comfortable and where you can feel close to God. God cannot bless a mess. If your home is a mess, and you are in tune with your power source (God), you are bound to feel uncomfortable with any kind of mess in your home.

We all have our days when pure exhaustion will stop us from doing some bit of cleaning up that we know should be done. But anyone who can DWELL in a mess has to check-in with their spirit and see if anything else in their lives is in disorder. If you can allow dishes to pile up in the sink, drag dirt into your home or leave your dirty laundry piled up for weeks or months then there is likely some other form of disorder in your life that is stopping you from getting closer to God.

Apart from that, I can testify that simply being constantly surrounded by a mess that you have no control over can be a hindrance from getting your own life in order. I am reminding myself that no condition is permanent. God has made a way out of these times for me though I am yet to see that way. My times are in His hands.

You have to commit

Committing yourself to your dream is the first step to the fulfilment of that dream. The interesting thing about life is that it really is a journey because there are some lessons I've learned very succinctly at least 50 times. And yet each time, it is like a revelation. This is one of those lessons.

I haven't learnt it by personal experience but rather by other people's experiences. In the past, everything I have had to achieve has had to do with education and honestly, being educated in itself was never my dream. It was a necessity. A step I had to take to make my dreams possible.

Now as I aim for something that has actually been my dream since I was a teenager, I'm committing myself in a way that I never have before. Above all, I am committing my plans into my Lord's hands daily because with Him, all things are possible. I need His guidance, His grace, His power and His protection as I work to make my dreams happen. And I'm seeing that it's true: if you want something badly enough, you will commit to it. And as you do so, God will bless your efforts and the fruits of your hands and mind will be great and abundant. As I work hard, I see the Lord opening doors for me. He is making things easier for me as I go along. He is giving me uncommon favour. People are willing to help me in ways that I would never have thought they would before. I am so grateful! I am expecting to succeed and I am ready for any obstacles I may meet along the way because God is with me.

Yeah it's another online diary! Opening up my heart, mind and soul to people I do not know. It's something I've done before in the past and I loved it. I'm looking forward to doing it again. This is not likely to be a daily affair and there's no provision for commenting because this is really more about being able to sort out my thoughts than about what people think of what I think. But please do read away. Hopefully, you'll relate to something in some way and as I find clarity, you will too.